Overcoming Fear
There are so many obsticals for an IMG. Knowing that others have made it, lets you know that you can do it as well. Here's an inspirational story of an IMG who prematched despite all odds:
I grew up in Santiago Dominican Republic. I want it to be a Doctor since I was 4 years old. Most people told me I will grew out of it, but I never did.
Right after high school, I started med school and finished Medicine at 22. During med school I became an assistant teacher and was able to teach other students, also I was granted the opportunity to do a 3 month rotation in a hospital in NYC. I fell in love with medicine in the USA and I knew that I want it to specialize in the USA. So right after graduation I started preparing and saving money to get into a residency program in the US.
At that time Kaplan had open a video center on my campus, and I joined right away and I was on my way to do step 1, but family financial turmoil push me away from studying and had to start working round the clock. Before I knew it years had pass and I saw all my classmates and former students moved pass me. That was the first time I doubt it myself, 4 years had passed and the pressure from others asking me about the test and when will I take it was overwhelming. I will tell you this it was annoying to have them ask me constantly "when are you taking step 1?", but what really hurt was when they stopped asking! It meant they have giving up on me and I was starting to do the same.
I moved to NYC to find away to start over and concentrate in my studies. To make it in NYC when you don't have a credit history and/or a job proved difficult. But I didn't give up and not once but twice I signed in for the test, and couldn't take it. Once because of health issues and the second because I didn't feel prepare to take it, maybe it was fear or maybe it was a reality, but the result was the same both times. I felt completely lost. Stuck in professional and personal limbo. I figured it was pointless to even try at this point as 9 years had passed since my graduation! It was 2008.
For the next two years I didn't do much in regards to studying. I had let my fear and my mind defeat me. I knew a lot of information had change since I had finished med school, and that the test was even more difficult and there was a lot of new material. I had completely lost the studying habit and taking this test was becoming a distant fantasy.
In the beginning of 2010 (11 years after med school was over) I hit rock bottom. I felt incomplete. I felt like a failure and I didn't like what I saw in the mirror. I knew that I had to beat the beast (step 1) or at least try to. If others could… why not me? Well there were several reasons, I was out dated, I had no time to study (I worked full time) I didn't had time to take Kaplan live courses because it conflicted with my work schedule and more importantly that doubt within me...
But regardless I started studying, it wasn't perfect, it was on and off. One night I was online on facebook and I saw Dr Barone, who I had befriend years priors after assisting a free event at Kaplan. I told him briefly about my story and he offered something that changed my life, he help me attend the Live Step 1 class. I was overwhelmed by his kindness and knew that this could be useful. Not only that for the first time in years I had someone believing in me and rooting me on.
I attend it his lectures and I couldn't believe how amazing and jam packed with information his lecture was, every sentence was high yield material. After concluding his lecture, I had this empowering attitude and I knew I could do it.
Shortly after I picked a date to sit for step 1, and the day of my test ... tragedy struck again! My name in my NYC ID did not matched the name that the center had on file! I thought it was over, I said to myself, it’s impossible every time I come close to take this test something happens...
But I did not give up this time, I had to do it and I did a week later I was able to sit for the test. During the test something else happened: due to nervousness I closed the 5th block with 14 questions left. I couldn't believe it, I was certain I had failed, block 6 and 7 were done in autopilot, I just want it to get out and cry.
And then the wait....
Within a couple of weeks I got my result and to my disbelief I passed... Words couldn't described my excitement... It wasn't a 99, nor close to it, (Step 1 = 195) after all I had done the unimaginable on block 5, but I did not care, I had tamed the beast..
This was in October, I soon started working on CK, and had to save some money, because I knew a big score on CK if I had any chances to obtain an interview, so I knew the best way was to do a live lecture for CK, which was given after work hours and weekends.
It was feb 2012 when I started my course, for 7 weeks I was working from 9-5 and then going to kaplan live course from 6-10 and weekends from 9-6. It was tough, but I was learning so much. During the last days of my live lectures I shift to prepare for CS, as it was going to go in hiatus and was not going to allow me to take it and get the grades back before application process. But at this point I felt invincible, that was the empowerment I had received from Kaplan and Dr Barone. I prepared for CS in 3 weeks and passed. While waiting for the score I refocus on CK, and set a date and I got my results in Early Oct 2012... PASSED (Step 2 = 212)... In less than a year I did all 3 tests that made me eligible to apply for residency, something I have not done in the past 12 years, and I owe Dr Barone and his lecture for igniting that flame.
I though my journey was over, at this point passing Step 1 was enough, but to also have done CS and CK was a victory, I thought for sure I was not going to get any interviews. I humbled myself and called all my ex classmates (yes those who had giving up on me years back), and acquaintances and ask for their help, to knock on Program Directors doors and beg to give me an interview... The plan worked and I was amazed to the fact that I got 8 interviews for different specialties.
When that happened I said OK, this is it, I got the interviews out of courtesy, I am sure they won't pick me after so many years, but I feel proud of myself that I didn't give up.
I started my round of interviews, and I recall everyone telling me to rehearse for them, and I told them, they are going to ask me about me, why do I need to rehearse and sound robotic? I will go there and be myself and be truthful and genuine. So I did.
On December 21 2012 the unimaginable happened, I received a call from a Program Director, and got offered a prematch in NY. It seem that although I was an old candidate and did not have the perfect scores, my interview pushed me to the top, and my candor and perseverance made them feel I was worthy of this honor.
So many times I thought my journey was over, so many times I gave up, yet equal amount of times I got up and now I know that my journey is not over, but barely beginning, the next chapter starts on July 1st 2013 as a PGY-1.
If you are reading this very long message and have doubts, forget them and put your all in this, with the grace of God and angels like Dr Barone on your side you can do it.
Thanks for reading
W.H.
Did you need a VISA?
I have a green card
How did you get the interviews?
A friend of mine who I worked with, knew a lady in the GME office of the hospital. I went to meet her. She did a pre interview with me and liked me and suggested my application to the Program Director. Sometimes the small people make the biggest difference)!!!! After that I got an interview, I thought would be a courtesy interview but the PD really like my interview and the rest is history Thanks for your continuous support Dr B, you ROCK!!